When I had my first baby, the delivery ended up being a Caesarean.
I thought the hardest part was over once I held my little one… but then came years of severe back pain. The kind that sneaks into everyday life and quietly shapes your fears without you even realizing it. It got to a point when a neurologist warned me to be careful or I could get bed-ridden.
Thankfully, by grace of God, I got complete healing of my back pain and now I’m pregnant again seven years later.
This time, I’m praying for a normal delivery. I truly want to believe it will happen. I pray for it every day. But if I’m honest… somewhere inside, I still wonder, What if it doesn’t?
When I was doing the daily Bible reading sometime back, I came across:
"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." -- Matthew 17:20
I’ve read that verse before, many times. It’s one of those comforting promises you highlight in your Bible.
But this time, something struck me differently.
While it was always comforting to know even the smallest bit of faith can achieve the impossible. I don’t think I even have faith the size of a mustard seed.
That thought shook me.
Because Jesus wasn’t exaggerating, and I’m still hesitating over a prayer for my delivery… maybe the real issue isn’t that God can’t, but that I’ve let doubt and fear crowd the little faith I have.
Faith is powerful. It’s the one thing we need to see miracles. And yet, it’s often the thing we let get buried under “what if” thoughts.
The enemy doesn’t have to take away our faith, he just has to fill our minds with enough fear and negativity that it gets smothered.
That’s why this versemeans so much to me:
"Take every thought captive to obey Christ." -- 2 Corinthians 10:5
Because our thoughts have power and they can nurture faith or slowly erode it.
We can’t always stop the thoughts that come. But we can choose what we do with them.
When fear says, “This will never change,” I can choose to say,
“With God all things are possible” --Matthew 19:26.
When doubt whispers, “You’re too weak,” I can respond,
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” -- Philippians 4:13
Maybe the first step isn’t about growing giant faith right away.
Maybe it’s about protecting the tiny seed we have and keeping it safe from the thorns of fear and doubt.
Because once that little seed is guarded and nurtured… it can grow into a huge tree.
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