6️⃣ A Firm Decision 📝

I have been praying… but still living a distracted life.

And I am not okay with it.

0ften, I know what to do.

But I don’t.

I stay.
I continue.
I drift deeper… simply because I’m already in it.

That quiet surrender to distraction that is mainly where I’ve been losing.

And slowly, I began to see something.

Why is the pull of K-drama so strong?

Because I sit with a sleeping baby…
and I don’t know what to do.

I’m tired.
I want something easy.
Something that asks nothing from me.

So I pick what is effortless.

Not what is holy.
Not what forms me.

Just what fills the silence.

And that choice , small as it seems, has my mind to wander.

So something has to change.

Not just inside prayer.
But in how I live.

So I am beginning a “A Six-Month Accountablity: A Discipline Track with the Holy Spirit.”

Not rushed.
Not rigid.
But intentional.

Why six months?

Because I can stay focused for a few days. Maybe even a week.

But I don’t want short bursts anymore.

I want formation.

And this season matters.

I am a mother of a four-month-old who will soon return to work.

Life is full, Unpredictable and Demanding.

So this path is not about perfection.

It is about awareness and a gentle, honest returning of the wandering mind.

Understanding the battle

 My mind is trained for distraction. But now, I am choosing differently.

“Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” -- Romans 12:2, RSVCE

I constantly seek to feel something during prayer. But feelings come… and go. So instead I choose perseverance.

“Be constant in prayer.” -- Romans 12:12

So here is how I will walk these six months.

Not strict rules to burden me… but something to be rooted in God constantly.

• Start the day with prayer.
  Before the day pulls me in different directions.

• Sanctify transitions.
  Every time I shift tasks—feeding, eating, laundry—
  one Our Father, one Hail Mary, one Glory Be.

• Choose better inputs.
  If I watch something, it will be intentional and knowledgeable. Also, starting mobile blocking times so that my scroll is limited.

• End day with gratitude and truth.
  Thanksgiving.
  Prayer.
  And journaling—
  not to judge myself,
  but to see where I wandered…
  and how I can be better.

• In prayer… simply choose God.
  Not chasing feelings.
  Not checking boxes.
  Just choosing Him. Showing up, pouring out and listening.

• And when I drift?
  Because I can.
  When I notice the distraction— no matter how long I’ve been in it— I will come back.
  Without delay.
  Firmly.
  Without discouragement.

This is my training period.

Not to prove something.
But to become someone.

A woman whose heart chooses God and a mind seeks stillness rather than noise.

Pray for me.

--

1 May 2026